Setting Up Personal Boundaries in a Relationship
Personal boundaries are a set of guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.
As young children, your parents place limits on you for your own protection. As you get older you start to test those limits to get more freedoms. As teenagers, you try to break down those limits completely, but then you need to learn to place your own limits on yourself.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries in a Relationship
As we’re growing up we learn what to expect in a relationship from the relationship we witness in the home between our parents—good or bad. As teenagers, we often seek out someone where we can create a similar type of relationship—good or bad.
The best thing you can do as a teenager is learning from that relationship what you need in a relationship and what you don’t want in a relationship, then learn to set boundaries on how you want to be treated.
Often women will stay in bad relationships for years because they have low self-esteem and let their husband abuse them instead of walking away. In the early part of the 20th Century, this was because in a sense women were owned by men or depended on them financially.
Mores didn’t start to change until the middle to late 1960’s. During this time there was an awakening of sorts. There was a change in music, along with a growing awareness of the growth of drugs that you had more control over your life. Also, there was a growth of self-help books and awareness that you could put limits on how you expected to be treated by a spouse or significant other. This also led to an increase in the divorce rate as communication broke down between spouses.
Today, as more women enter the workforce and have their own financial security, there is a big change of what’s acceptable behavior. You’re starting to see women speak about men that abuse their power when it comes to employment opportunities. Men who abuse women physically and sexually are being held accountable for their actions.